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University Health and Wellbeing > Health and Well-Being Services > Mental Health and Trauma Support > Counseling and Psychological Services > Services >

Helping a Friend

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Helping a Friend

 

Do you have a friend whose attitude has changed, has unexpected mood swings or seems to be distancing themselves? It's common for students to feel stress or overwhelmed in their college life at some point. Feeling homesick, family feuds, relationship issues, procrastination, pressure from exams and grades, trying to find a job or feeling alone are just a few common experiences that students go through in college. CAPS can help you manage these issues. But we understand that it can be difficult for your friend to come into CAPS to talk with a counselor about what they are feeling.

In many cases, it’s easier to express anger, embarrassment, depression or even thoughts of suicide to someone close. As a friend, you can be a bridge to professional mental health support. If you feel like the situation is an emergency, call or text 911. It’s better to be safe and make sure your friend has the help they need.

If you notice these signs, consider referring your friend to CAPS: 

  • Abrupt/radical changes in behavior, including a dramatic decrease in academic functioning

  • Isolation from others

  • Noticeable changes in mood, such as depression, apathy, or irritability

  • Poor attendance in classes

  • Sudden outbursts of anger

  • Attention/memory difficulties

  • Alcohol/drug abuse

  • Marked change in personal hygiene/appearance

  • Increased crying

  • Bizarre statements or behavior

  • Suicidal statements

How do I talk with my friend about going to Counseling Services at CAPS?

Although it might feel intrusive or awkward to address these personal issues with your friend, more often than not they will appreciate your efforts in the long run. Tell them you would like to speak with them about the concerns you have and ask your friend to meet with you during lunch or a favorite activity together. In the course of sharing your concern, do not attempt to be the counselor, but do provide information and options about campus, community and virtual resources available. 

Guidelines for interacting your friend:

  • Be mindful of the student’s privacy.

  • Listen carefully; show concern and interest.

  • Avoid criticizing or sounding judgmental.

  • Suggest counseling services at CAPS as a resource. Offer to show them the CAPS website.

  • Explain that counseling and referral services at CAPS are confidential. Let them know that the counseling staff will not discuss their concerns with anyone (not even you) without their written permission.

  • If your friend resists help and you are still worried, contact CAPS to discuss your concerns.

How do I make a referral to a counselor at CAPS?

  • Show your friend the scheduling options at CAPS via the Get Started page or CAPS Connect page.

  • Accompany your friend to CAPS Olin location for a drop-in appointment between 8am and 5pm, Monday thru Friday (please note that wait times vary and it may be suggested you schedule an appointment later in the week if situation is not urgent).

  • Follow up with your friend by asking whether they followed through with their appointment and how they felt about the session.

Can I call CAPS and make the appointment on my friend’s behalf?

No. We are unable to allow anyone other than the student to make an appointment at CAPS. You can be most helpful by encouraging your friend to make an appointment or by allowing them to call CAPS from your phone.

What should I do if my friend is in distress and needs immediate attention?

Let your friend know that they can call CAPS at 517-355-8270, then press 1 to speak to a counselor. You can also call this number if you aren’t sure what to do and would like professional advice.

You can accompany your friend to CAPS for a drop-in appointment if it is 8am-5pm, Monday thru Friday.

If you think the situation is an emergency, dial 911 before contacting CAPS. Do not delay attending to safety issues.